Really???

Okay, I am not having a good day, week, month whatever it is that I am having right now. This diet and weight loss thing has got me very down right now. I know that I can lost weight because I have done it before. I lost 20 in college in one summer and fall so I know I can do it. For some reason, I can't do it now. I gained another pound this week and just lost another half pound. How disappointing to stand on that scale and watch it do that....I am soooo mad at myself for letting me do this. It seems as though I have no control over myself and my eating habits right now. What is the deal? I want to be healthy and look better for myself and for Justin and Taegan. So what is my problem? How can I fix it?? Right now life is so crazy busy and full that I feel like I blame it on that and I need to get away from that. I have to make time to do it, but I have NO motivation to do that. Where can I get this motivation???

On another annoying note, Taegan has been battling a cold, cough, runny nose crap since November. It has gotten pretty bad this week with her cough and wheezing that I felt she needed to be seen. She was laboring to breathe and I could hear her wheezing across the room. I have asthma and I know all about that. So I was afraid she would be showing signs of it as well. Nothing was seeming to help her and I was frustrated. So off she went yesterday to the doctor with daddy. He calls to tell me the doctor says it is just a cold, nothing we can do for her. Really? And that is that? I wanted more answers...why has she been like this for over 3 months? Why does she sound terrible? I am glad it was nothing more serious, but I felt like she was blowing him off. She has had a low grade fever and can't shake that either. Needless to say I feel helpless and wish I could do something for her. You can't tell by looking at her that she does not feel well, it is the way she sounds. So again I feel like a failure....not a good day!