Holy headache...

Wow-I really didn't think I was that used to caffeine. Boy was I wrong. Friday and Saturday were pretty tough days. Friday was by far the worst as far as the headache goes. I was in bed at 8:50. I do realize going cold turkey is not the smartest idea, but it is how I handle cutting things out like that. I knew I was going to struggle and today I am doing much better! I did weigh in on Friday(like we do every week) and I lost 1.2 pounds this week. I was super pumped about that-even though it is a small start. I'm a bit worried about the next weigh in because Justin and I just went and had a night away in Kansas City and well we ate very well:) No pop-but maybe a margarita or two! Back on the wagon now and ready to get this weight off.

The kids have been a bit under the weather the past few days. It seems like we just can't shake the cold, fever, snotty nose crud that is going around. Just when I think Laekan is shaking it he gets clingy, yucky, and starts coughing again. Ugh. Taegan has been doing well, but she is having a hard time being away from me for a long period of time. I'm not sure what this is about because she goes to school twice a week, Awana once a week, and church once a week. She is just getting clingy and cranky. This tends to come out in public and when we are in a situation that discipline is a bit challenging. Always fun! There are moments when she acts 16(Lord help us) and other moments when she is an 18 month old. That is tough to juggle. We are doing our best, but somedays are better than others.

I am headed to training two days this week and an all day staff meeting, on top of Justin being at school this week; it is going to be a challenging week. I am hoping that three days away from the kids(even though I don't want to) will do my patience and heart good. I am hoping it will refresh my frame of mind and things will be way better next week. Here are a few pictures from the last week that melt my heart...I hope yours too!
Sitting together in the cart at Sam's...he thought it was the BEST thing!!!
Taegan thought "he was stylin" in these glasses!
But she preferred them on her face! Does she look so grown up in this picture or is it just me?!


Have a good week-here's to another week of getting this weight off!

Brutal Honesty

It's time. It's time that I face the fact that my body just isn't what it was before I had kids. And it isn't going to magically go back to what it was before I had them. So, that means that as the owner of this body I get to do the leg work to get it back where I want it! Boo-but it's time. I have two amazing kids that look up to and will look up to me as they grow up and I want them to see the best in me. I want them to know that Mommy is healthy, active, and wants to be here for the long haul for them. I want to play with them, race them, tackle with them, and show them the right way to eat.

There is no denying that I have let myself go over the last 3 years and now it's time to turn this ship around. I know this is going to be SO hard. I am going to go through food withdrawals, caffeine withdrawals, struggle to get motivated with exercise, and making excuses. But I can't. I can't give in, I can't look back, I have to move forward. I have to do this for myself, Justin, and the kids. I am not healthy right now and I am not happy right now. I have to dig deep and put everything on the line. One of the hardest parts is going to be turning down things and staying strong...so if I turn you down for something don't be offended. Just know that I am working hard on me and will be back when I am stronger. I am asking for support from anyone and everyone because I have never devoted my whole self to doing something like this.

I am going to be taking pictures through my progress and I hope this helps me and will inspire others to do something about themselves if they need to. This will keep me accountable and invested in this process.

Here I am today at my biggest weight...which I'm not going to reveal because I can't dig that deep yet. Thanks for your support and willingness to help me when I need it! I am looking to Justin for encouragement because last fall and winter he lost 40 pounds so I know it can be done. He will actually be working on losing more with me through this...and I will NOT get discouraged when he loses more than me for the week or month!!!!

This week I am starting with cutting back my calories and stopping all pop intake!!!! Baby steps...

My Valentines-

Today has been a fun day! It is so neat to celebrate holidays with kids when they finally start to get it a little bit. She has loved taking the time to write her name on her valentines for her friends and she loves getting mail!!!
Flowers from Daddy for his little Valentine!!! She was SOOO excited they were for her!
These are what we worked hard on yesterday...gummy bears and teddy grahams. She wrote her name on the valentine inside the bag.
So excited for preschool this morning in her new outfit.
Trying to get these two to work together for a picture makes me sweat...
but they are worth it.

I love you both!!!!

9 months old...

Laekan Harper- Are you really 9 months old?!? Mommy and Daddy are head over heels in love with you and we have loved watching you change this month into a little boy...almost not a baby anymore! We are so excited to see you grow and become that ornery little guy that we will love to share with everyone. You are so much like Daddy that we just have to laugh each day about it. You look JUST like him, act laid back like him, can get worked up at times but calm easily, and the best is that you are SOOO happy!!! You have been fighting a nasty cold and bronchitis this past month and there were a few nights that you spent in my arms getting back to sleep since you didn't feel good. Those nights were long-but I just held you and soaked you up knowing I won't always have those nights. You are finally feeling better-thank goodness. Here is what you are up to right now:

*You are wearing 9 month-12 month clothes, 12 month jammies
*You weigh 22 lbs, 1 oz and 30 inches long
*You are wearing size 3 diapers during the day and size 3 at night
*Same eating and sleeping schedule
*You continue to eat oatmeal with a fruit for breakfast and a veggie at dinner. Still no food at lunch, but we will start that up again soon.
*We have moved you from eating your bottle in your rock n play to eating at your high chair. That is going well and you are starting to eat much better there. Still takes you about 20-30 minutes to drink your bottle.
*You are still rocking the morning and afternoon naps-Mommy loves that!
*You are eating puffs much better-doing great with the pincer grasp.
*You have also had pasta, bread, mac and cheese, small bite of ice cream
*I have tried some 3rd foods with you and you actually gagged so much that you threw it up. You just don't expect the chunk of food in there. You do much better with chunks of table food.
*You decided 4 days before turning 9 months that you would crawl!!! Taegan and I were in your room with you when all of a sudden you crawled over to her. Taegan got so excited she saw you do it first!
*Now you are everywhere-the gate is back up at the stairs!
*You are no longer saying mama, but you will say dada-not knowing what it means. You are making lots of noises and will do anything to get our attention.
*We have started teaching you the sign for "more" and are hoping you catch on soon!
*Taegan is loving that you are moving and playing with more toys-although she is having a tough tough time leaving your toys alone and actually letting you play.
*You are still SO happy...
Such a happy, fun guy-but you are moving all the time!!!!
Our little heart breaker...
9 month Dr visit...sat still for a flash!


We love you so much Laekan!!!!